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I'll Be the Lakebed

by Dylan Gilbert

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1.
In light’s everlasting gaze / Enraptured in love I sing / Open mouthed I howl, calling out / In light’s everlasting glow / Darkness won’t take the spark in my soul / In warmth I’ve been reborn, unadorned and open mouthed I howl, calling out / In light’s everlasting gaze /
2.
Slack-jawed, the palm reader gawks, a spirit hovers over / The annoyed apparition blurts: Haven’t you learned your lesson yet? / Don’t chain yourself to a thought when you can think of more / The colors stirred too much will turn into mud / Moving forward is important / Dreaming of slippin’ back in time, armed with insight / Phantoms still swim through my mind / There’s no special editions / Can’t go back and change it / George can’t CGI my life, right? / Staving off rigor mortis / Mattress was soaking me up / I’m praying my blood still crunches through my rusty old veins / Standing on my own two feet again after a long time of being off, being off, being off / Let my ego drop, here’s my other cheek / Moving forward / Let my ego drop / I heard voices sing a song so heavenly / I begged, I pleaded with them: Let me hear it again / And they replied: Don’t chain yourself to a song when you can sing many more / The sounds held too tight turn back into noise /
3.
Morale got low in the Arlington hotel / Drum kit against the door, we barricaded ourselves / We had four gigs to go, my throat was killing me / Screams rang out from the next room / I’m feeling far from home / I’m feeling far from home / The boys in the band like to keep the TV on at night as a night light / But I can’t sleep with that static humming over me / Not to mention the screams and the blood stains on my sheets / I’m feeling far from home / I’m feeling far from home / I’m feeling far from home / I’m feeling far from home /
4.
Boneyard 03:10
The flag’s always at half-mast now, I don’t know why / It’s getting harder to keep track, it’s happening all the time / I’m watching the news at night like: How are we letting this slide? / Refreshing the page over and over again, I think I’m gonna lose my mind / I gotta keep my head about myself / I gotta keep my head about myself / I gotta keep my head / Cuz acting like an asshole’s not gonna make anything better / I know this one thing / Acting like an asshole’s not gonna make anything better / Blood in the street on the rise / The chief of police is lying about that murder, I saw it on Facebook Live / Watching in real time, feeling barely alive / Refreshing the page over and over again, I think I’m gonna lose my mind / I gotta keep my head about myself / I gotta keep my head about myself / I gotta keep my head / Cuz acting like an asshole’s not gonna make anything better / I know this one thing / Acting like an asshole’s not gonna make anything better / The flag’s always at half-mast now, I don’t know why / It’s getting harder to keep track, it’s happening all the time / It’s happening all the time / It’s happening all the time / It’s happening all the time / It’s happening all the time /
5.
New Prayer 02:09
Oh Lord, forgive me for my trespasses / I need a clean slate this year / Oh Lord, forgive me for all that shit I did when I was a kid / I was so stupid / Oh Lord, forgive me / Amen /
6.
Good News 03:54
When I woke up this morning, something was different / The stories trending on my feed seem positive / Ice caps re-freezing / War ending across our planet / All pronouns and races granted equal payment / Isn’t that good news? / I almost forgot what it felt like to hear some good news / Not fake news, not bad news, or existential blues / Weapons disarming en masse / It’s never been safer to go to class / No more fear mongering / We can heave a big sigh of relief / The president’s on my TV telling the nation he’s so sorry / A total 180; a fleet of bulldozers topple the patriarchy / Isn’t that good news? / I almost forgot what it felt like to hear some good news / Not fake news, not bad news, or existential blues / Weapons disarming en masse / It’s never been safer to go to class / No more fear mongering / We can heave a big sigh of relief / I almost forgot what it felt like /
7.
Scrolling 04:17
Scrolling, scrolling / I’ll fall asleep before even watching / More top tens posted everyday / How can I choose? / I’ve got the Recommended-for-You Blues / At least I won’t spend a dime to waste my time / This password’s used / Some of you think you’re immune / Scrolling, scrolling / The algorithm thinks I’m wanting politi-dramas, home movies and compilations of hits from the 90s / From some untouchable, intangible cloud / Rising up, digitally evaporating / How many times will I watch Twin Peaks to feel complete? / It’s on repeat / It’s on repeat /
8.
Untethered 03:04
Asking, insatiable and fox-holed: Grant me intent anew, grant me intent anew / Let me know when to close my mouth unanswered / Let me know / I must humble myself / I must humble myself / I must learn to love myself untethered / Untethered / Outstretched and suspended above / Outstretched and suspended above / Untethered /
9.
Epochs 04:34
Adjusting perspective, widening of scope / Sun-dried lazy daisy, gin soaked / I’m a seaweed mound on a strip mall, suffocated / Heeding epochs I once cradled rope / Shake myself free, I need to grab hold of some hope / I hover, I hover, I hover, I hover over topsoil / Lift stones till this worry leaves my soul / All is mine if I don’t plan on going home / Mash my bones and sweep em’ up in a dustpan / Sprinkle them over your doorstep / My voice cracks and it’s caught in a loop / The grandstand can’t shout over my gold tooth / Seduced by obnoxious nostalgia and Saturday morning cartoons / Saturday morning cartoons / Saturday morning cartoons / Count my vices, check my coffee intake / Can y’all believe I’m drinking two whole pots everyday? / I got the shakes / Has my body learned nothing? / Nothing! / Press pause on my train of thought / A stack of VHS tapes ain’t all that I’ve lost / Buying rosaries at every single truck stop just in case / Heeding epochs I once cradled rope / Shake myself free, I need to grab hold of some hope / I hover, I hover, I hover, I hover over topsoil /
10.
Adrift 05:11
Just when I cast myself adrift / That’s the moment I caught a glimpse of an angel floating, speaking in tongues / Illuminating what’s been right in front of me this whole time / Hurry for my soul, there it goes! / She grins into the abyss / What felt like a void becomes an oasis / And if I dance myself clean can we move together, please? / The love I’ve been searching for was right in front of me this whole time / Hurry for my soul, there it goes! / Hold it as tight as you can / Don’t let go /

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Visual Album:
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released October 2, 2020

Produced, Arranged, Composed and Performed by Dylan Gilbert
Additional Production, Mixing and Mastering by Justin Aswell
Additional Engineering by Greg Gilbert
Recorded at Electric Basement Studio, Goodyear Arts and Kelly’s House (Charlotte, NC) June 2018 - July 2019
Art Direction by Sarah Ingel and Dylan Gilbert
Photography by Amy Herman and Dylan Gilbert
Graphic Design by Amanda Johnson

Special thanks to Sarah Ingel, Mom and Dad, Goodyear Arts, The Women’s Impact Fund, Zach Jordan, John Harrell III, Jordan Hoban, Kathleen and Reuben Bloom, Toby Shearer, Dennissa Young, Kadey Ballard, Matt Cosper, Jeremy Arrington, Jeff Jackson, and Jeremy Theall.

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